Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:
* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."
* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."
* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."
* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."
* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."
* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."
* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
These are not hard and fast rules, just a simple guideline!
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a beer gut - He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not a bad dancer - He is Overly Caucasian.
He does not get lost all the time - He investigates Alternative Destinations.
He is not balding - He is in Follicle Regression.
He is not a cradle robber - He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk - He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He does not act like a total ass - He develops a case of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
He is not a sex machine - He is Romantically Automated.
He is not a male chauvinist pig - He has Swine Empathy.
He does not undress you with his eyes - He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.
He is not afraid of commitment - He is Monogamously Challenged.
I want one!
All you need to build your own personal and portable zombie-resistant shelter is One (1) Concrete Canvas building-in-a-bag, air and water. Wait 24 hours you have your own fireproof Quonset style concrete bunker that’s impervious to gunfire, the elements and the impending horde of the undead. [Via Sweet & Nerdy]
Not my cup of tea!
Would You Ever: Visit Croc-o-Saurus Cove?
The good people of Darwin, Australia know how to party (with crocodiles, that is). In this reptile themed park, you can get up close and personal with your next pair of shoes and matching belt without ever leaving the safety of your death defying cage.
I think this is a great idea, I know that my dog DeeOhGee is an undercover service dog... He takes care of me and I watch him with other people and he just seems to know who needs some lovin... and he has taken to protecting other smaller dogs from the big dogs and what not. I think that this a noble thing that Yale is doing and it should happen more often and in more places!
Yale Law Students Check a Border Terrier Out of Library for Stress Relief
There's no doubt law students are super stressed out. On top of a busy academic load, who knows if they're even going to have jobs after graduation? Enter Monty the therapy dog, available for check out from the Yale Law School library. A 30-minute play session with Monty is the perfect stress relief—if he actually exists.
The myth of Monty—short for "General Montgomery"—first surfaced last fall on the popular blog Above the Law. The border terrier was allegedly in a basket behind the circulation desk, but the school later issued a denial about Monty's existence. Now New York Magazine's reporting that Yale students have received a memo saying that, Monty is back and available for checkout. According to the memo from Law Librarian Blair Kauffman,
The law library intends to run a three day pilot program starting on March 28, 2011 during which students will be able to “check out” our certified library therapy dog, Monty for thirty minute periods. We hope that making a therapy dog available to our students will prove to be a positive addition to current services offered by the library. It is well documented that visits from therapy dogs have resulted in increased happiness, calmness, and overall emotional well-being.
And, even though Monty is hypoallergenic, "visits will be confined to a dedicated non-public space in the library to eliminate potential adverse reactions from any library user who might have dog-related concerns. Kauffman also says they'll be looking for student feedback on whether to have therapy dogs available "during stressful periods of the semester, for example during examinations."
GOOD is a dog-friendly workplace so we know first-hand how a little playtime with a pooch can improve moods. If reports of Monty are a another hoax, maybe they shouldn't be. Here's to more stress-relieving "Monty's" on campus!
Seems like anywhere in Texas is better than anywhere else!
I know that at 58 I feel safer walking down the road instead of driving, however, my mother is 85 and she still drives just fine....
An 86-year-old driver killed 10 people and injured more than 70 when he confused the accelerator and brake pedals of his Buick Le Sabre and drove it into a crowded farmers’ market in Santa Monica, California, on July 16, 2003. In Massachusetts in 2009, seven people were injured after a car driven by a 73-year-old woman jumped a curb and ran into a crowd gathered at a war memorial. Also in Massachusetts, a 93-year-old man drove his car into the entrance of a Wal-Mart, injuring six people, after he mistook the gas pedal for the brake.
Are older drivers really such a threat? Studies have resulted in conflicting statistics, but the one thing that’s certain is that it’s a problem society will be dealing with in greater frequency in the coming years. In 2009, about 39 million Americans, or 13 percent of the population, were over age 65, and this age group makes up 15 percent of all licensed drivers in the country. The U.S. Census Bureau projects that by 2050, almost 1 in 4 Americans, nearly 90 million people, will be over age 65.
Are older drivers a danger to themselves and others?
Carnegie Mellon University and the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety looked at data from 1999 to 2004 and found that fatality rates climb for drivers over age 65. From ages 75 to 84, the fatality rate is equal to that of teenage drivers, long considered the most dangerous age group in automobiles: about three deaths per 100 million miles driven. After age 85 the fatality rate is four times that of younger drivers. More troubling statistics: in 2005, 11 percent of fatal crashes involved drivers over 65.
However, another recent study refutes this data. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) found that the rate of fatal crashes among drivers 70 years and older decreased from 1997 to 2008. In that time, the number of older drivers in the U.S. rose several percentage points, but fatal crashes per licensed driver decreased by a third. The Insurance Institute attributes this drop to the drivers themselves; they say more seniors are voluntarily driving less. Most elderly drivers decide to stop driving on their own, or restrict the amount and distance they travel behind the wheel; more than 600,000 drivers age 70 and older decide to give up driving each year, according to a 2002 study published in the American Journal of Public Health.
How are states dealing with elderly drivers?
State laws vary widely in how they deal with older drivers and licensing. Eighteen states have no requirements or restrictions for renewing driver’s licenses. Some states require drivers over certain age limits to renew in person and pass a vision test; Illinois and New Hampshire make those over 75 pass a road test when renewing their driver’s licenses. In New Hampshire, about 10 percent of drivers tested fail this test every year; state officials believe this system has kept unfit older drivers off the roads. While seniors make up about 15 percent of New Hampshire’s licensed drivers, they are involved in only nine percent of crashes.
The process of aging certainly causes issues that affect the ability to drive. Reflexes slow down, flexibility decreases; hearing and vision may also become less sharp. Memory and the ability to concentrate decline. IIHS found the only scientifically proven way to lower the rate of fatal crashes among older drivers is to beef up the laws requiring them to renew their driver’s licenses in person, rather than by mail. However, eye exams cannot catch a driver with diminished cognitive ability or physical capacity. States have tried a range of approaches, but for the most part they have struggled to establish precise standards for determining when seniors should be kept off the road while being fair to older drivers who remain capable. Age discrimination is a very real possibility.
Is there anyone out there that was a non-responder for the old hep c treatment, 1 shot one pill v. the new one-shot 2 pill treatment? Did it help you the second time around? I might be gonna try again and I just remember how sick it makes you. Is it the same? http://amplify.com/u/a17ug3
Now this is down right funny in my book... thought the reactions would have brought a lot more screaming and at least a little crying....just saying!
Here’s a great prank video from Just For Laughs Gags. Watch the video and share with us in the comment what you would have felt or done, if you were at the place.
See more at www.funnypicss.com
That is alright with them, but they didn't have the parenting we did!
My laptop has been down for quite a while now, but I now have a new power cord and things are looking up. I'm getting back into the posting thing and would love to give you all what you want. Leave a message if you are interested in a particular subject and I will do the research and post on it... Talk to you later. Have a great week!
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| Global Personality Test Results |
| Stability (73%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness (26%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (43%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive. |
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