Artist Rendering

clipped from www.ilovebacon.com Scissors Quote from the mom: "This is my kindergartner's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought. And I am so dang proud of myself. I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room before I started to cry from laughing so hard."

Animal Head

clipped from www.ljplus.ru

Married ?

WIFE: "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - -silence - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

Spoken Words

clipped from www.rinkworks.com Things Kids Say Kids' Ideas About Love -- 5 to 10 year olds expound on love and marriage. Kids' Ideas About Science -- 5th and 6th graders illustrate scientific principles for the layman. Kid Quotes -- Young children make hilarious observations. Exams and Papers -- 7th through 12th graders give creative wrong answers to exams. Stupidity Warning Labels -- In today's litigious society, products need ridiculously obvious instructions. Employee Performance Evaluation Quotes -- Evaluating the performance of the less proficient employees. Bad Predictions -- Famous last words about science and technology. Twins -- Some people have comic ideas about what being a twin is all about. Anecdotes of Stupidity -- In the general public, you can't hide from stupidity.

Tie-dyed Roses

clipped from www.craftzine.com I came across these psychedelic-looking roses at the county fair the other day and just had to snap a few photos. Yes, they're real! The signage at the event explained that the flowers hail from the Netherlands, and that the multi-hued effect is created by injecting various dyes into the stems during the growing process. The effect is very surreal, like a wedding bouquet a Deadhead might carry. Does anyone out there have any more information about these wild and crazy roses? More photos in the CRAFT Flickr pool. Link.

The Differnce in Man and Woman

clipped from sprott.physics.wisc.edu

Google Guide

clipped from www.googleguide.com Google Guide is an online interactive tutorial and reference for experienced users, novices, and everyone in between. I developed Google Guide because I wanted more information about Google's capabilties, features, and services than I found on Google's website. --Nancy Blachman Start now: Jump to a section:  Overview  Contents  Favorites  Query Input  Understanding Results  Search Tools  Services  Developing a Website  Cheat Sheet (2-page quick reference)  Calculator Cheat Sheet (2-pages)

Disposable Web Page

clipped from disposablewebpage.com Welcome to disposableWebPage Disposable Web Page is now here! You can create a disposable web page with as little effort as a few key strokes and start right away at filling up the page with the content you want. Disposable web page offers you the convenience and freedom of getting information out there on the internet with as little hassle as can be. Why is it call disposableWebPage? Each disposable webpage has a count down clock. You can set this clock to count down anywhere from 90 days to 0 days from the time the page is created. When the remaining time reaches 00:00:00:00, the page is automatically set for disposal and will exist for 2 more weeks before it gets incinerated. Click Here to Create a Disposable Web Page You will be given a master key and here's what you'll get to do with a master key: edit the disposable webpage create an Editor key for friends to co-edit the page set the disposable date of the page

One Man's Blog Contest

OMB’s New Member of the Month Contest!

Posted on Sep 06, 2007 - 3:26am by John P. in Site Updates, Contests

Digg This! (7 Diggs, 1 comment) • Save to del.icio.us (1 save) • Submit to Reddit • Add to Technorati! • Technorati: 15 links to this item • Add a comment • Stumble It! (2 Reviews)

Well, One Man’s Blog has continued to grow in every category I tend to measure, be it Technorati, Alexa, Feedburner or simply traffic stats. As a result, the advertising that I’ve placed on the site has been generating excess cash beyond what’s required to keep my dedicated servers running, and I’ve decided the best thing to do is give some back!

So, I’m happy to announce the implementation of the OMB Member of the Month Contest! Here is the deal… At the beginning of each month I’m going to announce the OMB Member of the Month winner along with the prize for the upcoming month. You can do either (or both) of the following to qualify:

1. Subscribe for e-mail updates. This makes sure that I have your e-mail so I can contact you if you win, and it allows my readers that don’t have Web sites to still have a chance at winning.
2. Create a post with at least one link back to any OMB article during the contest month. Please make sure to leave a trackback on the post you link, or drop me an e-mail, so I can keep track.

To make sure we start out with a bang, the first ever prize is going to be a Sony DCR-SR60 Hard Drive Camcorder with a retail value of $599. Great for video blogging because there is no tape! Record to hard drive, then USB it right into your computer for uploading!

I bought this as an evaluation unit and it’s been opened and tested one time only.

Now, I’m not promising that every month will be a $600 prize, but I will tell you that every prize will be something that I would personally love to receive. And as most of you probably know by now I’ve got some tasty toys.

Details I’ve already thought through:

• If you win I’ll ship anywhere in the world. I don’t care where you are! So, everyone is eligible.
• Winners will be chosen by a random drawing which I’ll have my wife select while blindfolded (or at least not looking).
• If you do something spectacular to help promote this site it will earn you extra entries. (Like start a Digg, Stumble, or Reddit storm, create graphics or improve my theme - or anything else generally kick ass.)
• The rules may be changed a little here and there to keep things fair if I’ve forgotten anything. Please ask questions if you see glaring holes in the plan.

If you’re going to enter via a blog article, how about helping spread the love about this contest? And if you don’t have a Web site but are a regular reader, perhaps it’s time to get an e-mail subscription (top right of the page) so I can include you too? See my privacy policy if you have any concerns.

I Can't Even Say It

clipped from www.tenduotrigintillion.com Ten Duotrigintillion The short scale ten duotrigintillion, is also known as a googol. Ten duotrigintillion can be written as 10100 or 10 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 In 1938 some 9 year old kid decided to call ten duotrigintillion a googol for no real good reason. Unfortunately that is the term most commonly associated with the number. The search engine Google is a pun or misspelling of the slang for ten duotrigintillion. Ten duotrigintillion is of no particular significance in mathematics, nor does it have any practical uses. You are probably here by mistake or made a simple typo. As a courtesy we provide a link to Google. This site is in no way affiliated or purported to be a search engine.

D.O.G. and the Turkeys

Little Golden Books That Never Made It"

Little Golden Books That Never Made It"

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

College Assignment

Now that is a short story.

clipped from i.thefairest.info

Two alpacas offer hen protection

Should have been William and Mary. You can't watch the chickens all the time.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk Two alpacas offer hen protection Tremayne Farm, near Camborne, has taken on two Peruvian alpacas - named William and Harry - to keep predators away. Farm manager Giles Greenhough said: "Because of the alpacas' nature, they'll take up the role of becoming guardians of the flock." Farm director Lisa Rowe added: "Alpacas are used extensively in Australia and New Zealand to safeguard sheep." She added: "We know that happy hens lay the tastiest eggs and for that reason, we recruited the alpacas."