Saturday, September 01, 2007
Chicago (SatireWire.com) — A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern Wisconsin.
According to eyewitnesses, roughly 30 to 60 minutes after the ship's contents dissolved, the lake slowly but firmly began to push northwest toward Minnesota. Eventually, its swollen banks managed to poke aside Lake Superior, which cartographers said will lose its standing as the largest of the Great Lakes for the next four to six hours.
"For so many years that lake just, you know, sat there," said Martha Strop of Eau Claire, Wisc. "To be honest, I never even thought about it anymore. There wasn't much of a point. But now, well, this has changed our lives forever."
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Ever wonder where the word SHIT comes from?
Well, here it is:
Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was years ago) by ship.
In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only
became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is
methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could
(and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone
came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this
manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure
were always stamped with the term "S.H.I.T" on them which meant to the sailors to
"Ship High In Transit."
In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the
hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Bet you didn't know the history of that word.
Neither did we.
We always thought it was a golf term.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
|In 1953 (the year I was born)|
Dwight Eisenhower becomes president of the US
President Eisenhower announces that he has given France $60 million for the Indochina War
Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norkay reach the top of Mt. Everest
Julius and Ethel Rosenburg are executed by electrocution at Sing Sing Prison
The Korean War ends in stalemate
The first color television sets go on sale for about $1,175
Ron Jeremy, Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, and Kim Basinger are born
New York Yankees win the World Series
Detroit Lions Win the NFL Championship
Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is published
Elvis Presley records for the first time
68% of all United States television sets were tune in to I Love Lucy to watch Lucy give birth