Where Have I Been?

Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just realised I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail... You would not believe how insane my life has become. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness..

I am totally exhausted with sleeping my way to the top, soaking in the tub, just generally being the life of the party to my local police, my day seems to be packed from midday to dawn. I am not complaining though. life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

I won't promise anything to you but I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Well, I'll try. Assuming I don't get distracted by counting my chest hairs..

You don't like that one? Try this one....

OMG! I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe that my hands were chopped off and I was waiting for bionic ones. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with discovering time doesn't stand still, a ticking crocodile, just generally being an embarrassment to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day is passing in a blur from midday to I feel like going to bed. I am avoiding recapture. I need a nap.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. You wanna test me? Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue..


Click the title of this post to find out where I got it.....