Redneck Fishing Tournament

 

Happy New Year

New Blog

I have a new blog called Vandamonium’s Musical Exploits. It covers all of my music exploits including, gigs, photos, favorite songs, music videos, and anything other about music that I might come up with or come across. Check it out if you have the time.

Your Christmas Needs

Only in America

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America……do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America…..do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America……can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)

Why Christmas Trees are Better Than Women/Men

WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
- When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn’t look like a cheap hooker.
- A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.
- A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and won’t say, “Hey, look at the size of that one … I didn’t know they made ‘em that big!”
- Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have a plastic one in the closet.
- It always smells fresh as a forest.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.
- You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you look up underneath it.
- When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get jealous around other Christmas trees.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN MEN
- A Christmas tree is always erect.
- Even small ones give satisfaction.
- A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
- A Christmas tree always looks good - even when it’s lit.
- A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
- A Christmas tree has cute balls.
- You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
- You don’t have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break one of its balls.
- You only have to feed/water it once a week.
- It’s always there to light up your life.
- It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
- It always smells nice and doesn’t pass gas.
- If it needles you, you can toss it out.
- It doesn’t ask you to have little Christmas trees.

An Observation of True Friendship

A truly amazing feat of friendship and bravery!

clipped from www.youtube.com Hero Dog Tries to Help Mortally Wounded Dog - Chile

Volcanic Lightning?

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Talking Dog For Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back
yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story? "The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I
could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I
told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog
would be eaves- dropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight
years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down .I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in." I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on
earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Merry Christmas to All

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Let the Kids Paint

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Let the Kids Paint

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