Things to Share 07/24/08

Thing to Ponder

How does one actually zip their lip?

You might be a REDNECK if...

...you have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

Jokes of the Day

Pa Won't Like It

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

The Living Satues

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.

Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

Today's Reason to Drink

Celebrate Simón Bolívar Day! You know, the famous South American revolutionary after which Bolivia takes its name.

Facts of the Day

Horses can eat 24 hours without stopping

While our eyes are the same size from the day we are born, our ears and nose keeps growing.

Quotes

Winning may not be everything, but losing has little to recommend it.
- Senator Dianne Feinstein

What happens when the future has come and gone?
- Robert Half

Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.
- Katharine Hepburn

Useless Trivia

Coyotes are extremely loyal to their mates. If one is caught in a trap, the other will bring small game for it to eat; it will soak itself in a river to allow its thirsty mate to chew on its damp fur for water. It has been documented that the free coyote will stay with its captive partner until death.

Just Plain Weird

SWEDEN: Swedish airport staff were not amused when a team from a TV comedy show tried to check in a suitcase with a dwarf inside.

A judge has chastised parents for calling their child 'Sex Fruit' and 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii'.

Places are still unfilled on the UK's first degree course in Funeral Services - an essay on burial rituals anyone?

Hurricane Dolly

I usually stay out of the sunshine (sleep all day). But today I was up watching 'Dolly' as she made her way towards the South Texas Coast. It's been a long time since Port Aransas has had a direct hit from a hurricane and local legend has it that we are due one soon and when it comes it's gonna be the BIG one. This one wasn't it. There have been several scares. One of them was 'Katrina' but all we ended up with there was a "Premature Evacuation".

I hope that I'm not around for the big one. I've watch this sleepy little drinking town with a fishing problem grow bigger and bigger for the last nine years and hate the idea of seeing it all blown away.

Asta La Vista

Bcc: An Email to Mom

Do you get those forwarded messages all the time. Every now and then you have the urge to pass it along to everyone you know? My 83 year young Mother got her first computer a little while ago and she's doing pretty good. However, she has started forwarding me these, what I call "pass around emails" that show every one and thier mother, brothers and sisters etc, email addresses. The following is the suggestion that I emailed back to her tonight:

________________________________________________________

This is the meat of the message you sent to me. I want to explain to you a little about security and computer integrity. I hope you take heed because every time you forward one of these messages you show your email and everyone elses email that shows up to hundreds of people that you don't really know. Do you want people you don't know, knowing your password?

There are clues to email theft and the one that is most blatant is to ask you to forward it on to ## so many people and ADD THEM. So everytime anyone does what he/she requests they keep getting more and more email addresses. This is how you start getting all kinds of Junk Mail.

Also, in most Email programs, there is a button you can click to add every address in the message to their contact list. When they send out all of these things it goes out to people they don't even know and your address can be added to thousands of peoples contact list all over the World Wide Web.

There are a combination of things you can do to prevent this.

Cut and Paste - You scroll down to the meat of the message and just cut and paste that into a NEW email. Then you pick the person that requested you to send it back to them and put that address in the To: field. Next, you click on the Add Bcc link, usually located right about the Subject: field. (Bcc stands for Blind Carbon Copy) Then another To: Field will open up. You then add the address of your family and friends and then touch up you message and send it.

This way each time you send an email this way you will have kept up the "ring" and the people who you sent it to will see only two addresses, your's and their's.
You will never end up in people's contact list that you don't know. I'm thinking that the you have inherited, contests, I need you help with a forigen bank, junk emails end up in your mail box by the one's who start one of these to pass along with no other intent in mind than getting as many email address as they possibly can.

Cut and Paste and using the Bcc are the keys to computer security and integrity.

Now send this to 250,000 other people and please, please, please don't add me unless you put me in the Bcc.

I hope you understand that I'm just trying to protect you and help you at the same time.

Love You Mom,

Van
____________________________________________________________________

If you don't understand you can click on THIS to see further explanation.

You Might Be.....

You might be a REDNECK if…

…you can burp and say your name at the same time.

…the people on Jerry Springer’s show remind you of your neighbors.

…you think Possum is The ‘Other White Meat’.

…you carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

…you met your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens’ room at the Flying J Truck Stop.

…you think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

…your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

…you think safe sex is a padded headboard.

…you and your dog use the same tree.

…you believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

If you answered yes to any of the above, you might be a redneck…

Things to Share

Things I Found To Share

July 22, 2008

Odd Facts

The only continent without a desert is Europe.

In ancient Egypt people used pillows made of stone.

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

Quotes of the Day

The only continent without a desert is Europe.

In ancient Egypt people used pillows made of stone.

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

New Links

Funny Transportation Pictures

Parents Day - Quotes

Are the diagonals parallel?

Point to Ponder

Why do we buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

You might be a redneck if:

...the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

Joke of the day

The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?

Who's Better?

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.

"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands."

"My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands."

"I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."

Hope you enjoyed these.

MCRD San Diego

I was piddling around and ended up at the place where I went to boot camp back in '71. Come to find out the lawyer I had to go see at Cherry Point, NC, is now in charge of the whole enchilada.

clipped from www.mcrdsd.usmc.mil Brigadier General Angela (Angie) Salinas Commanding General, Marine Corps Recruit Depot/Western Recruiting Region Brigadier General Angela (Angie) Salinas began her military career when she enlisted into the Marine Corps in May 1974. Following recruit training at Parris Island, S.C., she served as a legal services clerk until 1977 when she was selected for the Enlisted Commissioning Program and commissioned a second lieutenant in December 1977. She has commanded at every rank and has served as Series Commander, Woman Recruit Training Command, Parris Island, South Carolina, Commanding Officer, Headquarters and Service Company, 1st Maintenance Battalion, Camp Pendleton, CA, Commanding Officer, Recruiting Station Charleston, West Virginia, Commanding Officer, 4th Recruit Training Battalion and Commanding Officer, 12th Marine Corps District, San Diego, CA.

Gotta Get One

This would really make a canoe trip special. I can imagine what it would be like up north where they have all the lakes that are crystal clear.

clipped from www.toxel.com Transparent Canoe See the world below you with remarkable clarity in this two person transparent canoe. This hard shell transparent canoe provides 100% visability. It weighs only 40 lbs., and is lighter than most aluminum or wood canoes. Price: $1,475 + $175 Shipping

This guitar is on the top of my wish list. I already have two Dean Guitars and one Dean 6-string banjo. They are an awesome product and worth looking into if your looking for a guitar.

Work Week

Had a pretty good time hosting Karaoke Friday and Saturday night. I really like my life here. Most people work a 5 day week and then get 2 days off. I'm just the opposite. I work 2 nights (only 4 hours a night)and then I get a 5 day weekend.

Have a great Sunday.