Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
Elderly Texting Codes: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on? LMDO -laughing my dentures out. OMMR -on my massage recliner. ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.Elderly Texting...
THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:
* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."
* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."
* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."
* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."
* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."
* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."
* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
These are not hard and fast rules, just a simple guideline!
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a beer gut - He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not a bad dancer - He is Overly Caucasian.
He does not get lost all the time - He investigates Alternative Destinations.
He is not balding - He is in Follicle Regression.
He is not a cradle robber - He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk - He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He does not act like a total ass - He develops a case of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
He is not a sex machine - He is Romantically Automated.
He is not a male chauvinist pig - He has Swine Empathy.
He does not undress you with his eyes - He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.
He is not afraid of commitment - He is Monogamously Challenged.
I want one!
All you need to build your own personal and portable zombie-resistant shelter is One (1) Concrete Canvas building-in-a-bag, air and water. Wait 24 hours you have your own fireproof Quonset style concrete bunker that’s impervious to gunfire, the elements and the impending horde of the undead. [Via Sweet & Nerdy]
Not my cup of tea!
Would You Ever: Visit Croc-o-Saurus Cove?
The good people of Darwin, Australia know how to party (with crocodiles, that is). In this reptile themed park, you can get up close and personal with your next pair of shoes and matching belt without ever leaving the safety of your death defying cage.
I think this is a great idea, I know that my dog DeeOhGee is an undercover service dog... He takes care of me and I watch him with other people and he just seems to know who needs some lovin... and he has taken to protecting other smaller dogs from the big dogs and what not. I think that this a noble thing that Yale is doing and it should happen more often and in more places!
Yale Law Students Check a Border Terrier Out of Library for Stress Relief
There's no doubt law students are super stressed out. On top of a busy academic load, who knows if they're even going to have jobs after graduation? Enter Monty the therapy dog, available for check out from the Yale Law School library. A 30-minute play session with Monty is the perfect stress relief—if he actually exists.
The myth of Monty—short for "General Montgomery"—first surfaced last fall on the popular blog Above the Law. The border terrier was allegedly in a basket behind the circulation desk, but the school later issued a denial about Monty's existence. Now New York Magazine's reporting that Yale students have received a memo saying that, Monty is back and available for checkout. According to the memo from Law Librarian Blair Kauffman,
The law library intends to run a three day pilot program starting on March 28, 2011 during which students will be able to “check out” our certified library therapy dog, Monty for thirty minute periods. We hope that making a therapy dog available to our students will prove to be a positive addition to current services offered by the library. It is well documented that visits from therapy dogs have resulted in increased happiness, calmness, and overall emotional well-being.
And, even though Monty is hypoallergenic, "visits will be confined to a dedicated non-public space in the library to eliminate potential adverse reactions from any library user who might have dog-related concerns. Kauffman also says they'll be looking for student feedback on whether to have therapy dogs available "during stressful periods of the semester, for example during examinations."
GOOD is a dog-friendly workplace so we know first-hand how a little playtime with a pooch can improve moods. If reports of Monty are a another hoax, maybe they shouldn't be. Here's to more stress-relieving "Monty's" on campus!
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| Global Personality Test Results |
| Stability (73%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness (26%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (43%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive. |
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